If you lost your job tomorrow, how many of the 5,000 people you are connected to on LinkedIn would pick up the phone, call you, check in, and offer to help?
Be honest. For most people, the answer is not very many.
That is not because people are bad. It is because we live in a world filled with efficient strangers. People may know your name. They may have liked one of your posts. They may have connected with you years ago. But a like, a link, a share, and a follow are not the same thing as a real business relationship.
We Collected Contacts, Not Relationships
Over the last 15 years, business has become obsessed with technology, productivity, automation, and efficiency. In many ways, that has been good. We have better tools. We can work faster. We can communicate with people around the world in seconds.
But somewhere along the way, we let efficiency become the goal, and when efficiency becomes the goal, people become the thing we work around.
We stopped showing up in our industry. We stopped going to the association conference. We stopped attending the local business lunch. We stopped having real conversations with the people inside our companies. We stopped investing in our communities. Then one day we need help, and we wonder why the network is quiet.
The reason is simple. We did not build a network. We collected contacts. There is a big difference.
Be A Deliberate Human
The antidote to being an efficient stranger is to become a deliberate human.
That does not mean you have to be friends with everybody. It does not mean every conversation has to turn into a deep relationship. And it does not mean you need to spend every night at some rubber chicken dinner networking event.
It means you pay attention. It means you show up. It means you look for ways to bring value before you need something.
All opportunities come from people. I have said that for a long time because I have seen it over and over again. People hire people. People refer people. People recommend people. People include people. But they tend to help the people they know, like, trust, and remember.
If you are not showing up in your industry, people do not really know who you are. They may be connected to you online, but do they know what you are doing now? Do they know your strengths? Do they know why they should refer you, hire you, recommend you, or include you?
Probably not.
This Is Happening Inside Companies Too
This is not just about your industry. Inside companies, many people do not really know the people on the next team, in the next office, or across the Zoom screen.
Remote work made this more obvious, but it did not create the problem. We have been drifting away from real workplace relationships for a long time. People can be productive together and still not know each other.
That is a problem.
How many times have you seen a Chamber of Commerce lunch, an industry association meeting, a tech council program, a bar association mixer, or some short professional gathering and talked yourself out of going?
“It is too much time.”
“I have too much work.”
“I do not know if it will be worth it.”
“I will go next time.”
Then next time becomes next year. And next year becomes never.
Showing Up Still Matters
If you are part of an industry or part of a community, you have to show up.
Not every event will be amazing. Not every conversation will change your life. Not every room will feel like magic. That is not the point. The point is consistency.
It takes years to build a network. It takes years to build a personal brand. It takes years to become the person people remember when opportunities appear.
You cannot wait until you are in a time of need, suddenly show up in the community, and expect people to drop everything to help you.
That is not how human connection works.
Networking Is Not Fluffy
Some people still think networking is fluffy.
It is not.
In today’s world, human connection is a serious business advantage. Technology is not going away. AI is not slowing down. Productivity tools will keep getting better. But the more efficient everything becomes, the more valuable real human interaction becomes.
The people who know how to build trust, create community, start conversations, and maintain relationships will have an advantage. The people who only know how to optimize their calendar and scroll their phone will struggle.
I have been speaking on human connection, networking, business relationships, and community for nearly two decades. I wrote my first book, Some Assembly Required: How to Make, Grow and Keep Your Business Relationships, in 2005 because even then I could see what was happening.
As technology became more central to business, people were becoming more disconnected.
Today, the problem is bigger. People are more disconnected. People are lonelier. People are less likely to show up. And yet, the people who succeed over the long run are still the people who build real relationships.
Walk Into The Room Differently
Here is where a lot of people get networking wrong. They walk into the room thinking, “Who can help me? Who can give me a job? Who can buy my product? Who can mentor me? Who can introduce me to someone important?”
That approach usually fails. Then they say, “Networking does not work.”
But networking was not the problem. Their mindset was the problem.
Walk into the room differently. Ask, “Who can I help? Who should I encourage? Who can I introduce? Who here is doing something interesting? Who needs to feel seen today? Who can I support with no immediate expectation of return?”
If you do that once, it is a nice gesture. If you do that for years, you build a reputation. And reputation matters.
People who bring value get included. They get referred. They get opportunities. They get remembered.
Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty
Harvey Mackay wrote a book called Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty. That title says it all.
When it comes to your network, your reputation, your brand, and your community, you have to do the work long before you need the help.
Do not wait until you are unemployed. Do not wait until your business is slow. Do not wait until you need a referral. Do not wait until you feel lonely. Do not wait until you look around and realize the 5,000 people on LinkedIn are not really your network.
Start now.
Make one effort today to build a better connection with one person. Call someone. Send a real note. Invite someone to coffee. Show up at the event. Make the introduction. Ask a better question. Listen longer than you usually do.
Be useful. Be present. Be a deliberate human.
Because that one person might change your life.
And you might change theirs.